A street-smart Senator, Bernie

Sanders from Flatbush did journey

To the biggest arena

thanks to his demeanor

(equal parts Bert and Ernie).

Of course I dig him but I don’t think “we” played such a noble role in Kosovo or that Edward Snowden should face “consequences” other than a ticker-tape parade….Lincoln Chafee was inoffensive. In some way he resembles Dr. William Courtney… O’Malley is a liar and a turn-off, which was useful because millions of Americans needed to see what was happening between the Mets and the Dodgers…  Our high hopes for Webb were not fulfilled. His fierce opposition to the nuclear deal that Kerry worked out with Iran was unexplained. If Netenyahu’s against it, how can it be bad?

If I was a paid consultant for Hillary Clinton, I could suggest the perfect campaign theme song. (Husband Bill once used “Don’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow,” the only track Fleetwood Mac produced in those bloody mary years that I didn’t care for.)  Okay, I’ll give it away for free: It’s Elvis Presley’s “Any way you want me….”  (Words and music by Aaron Schroeder.) Seriously. She should cop to a life of opportunism and say she’ll be an opportunist for the 99%.  She should get the rights to Elvis’s version, so as she enters the hall he’ll be crooning, “I’ll be as strong as a mountain, or weak as a willow tree… ”  What crowd wouldn’t cheer madly? What courage she’d be showing! Not to mention self-knowledge. And she’d pick up the votes of a million Elvis fans, just like that.

PS: All these years I thought “Anyway you want me” was the B side of “Love Me Tender” (the much bigger hit on the radio), but Google Images says otherwise… Man, was he handsome before they messed him up!  —Fred Gardner